11 October 2006

very very naughty.

so i'd like to take a break from my afternoon at shooting people with arrows at the fair and getting slapped in the face with thomas' titties so as to share with you both a tidbit of linguistic wisdom and an attestation of how much i love second-wave lesbotrons.

first, let's take a quick jaunt away from me talking about france and frenching to learn some english. thanks to my new irish friend claire (who, i must state for the record, has a very pretty mouth), i have learned that the verb "to diddle" means two very different things depending on if you are to the right or the left of the atlantic ocean. apparently claire occasionally finds herself getting diddled by guys who work at convenience stores, which she finds a little annoying. whereas if i got diddled by a convenience store clerk, i think i would be quite grodied-out and mighty pissed. so in ireland you don't diddle the fiddle, nor do nasssty ole mens in trenchcoats diddle small children on law&order s.u.v. getting diddled means that someone shorts you when they give you change.

segueway: during my first year of undergrad, the professor of my mandatory english course used to "segue" a lot. that's all. there's not really any segueway between diddling and this next thing. sorry.

so my friend lessa called me yesterday to apologize about not getting back to me soon enough for me to borrow a mini-skirt on friday, and to tell me about a show she is having tonight. she is a member of the drag king fem show, a drag-slash-burlesque here in gay ole paree. she told me that their last performance was apparently turning into a great big lesbodrama on gayvox.fr, so i plugged in my laptop and went cruising on down to gayvox. let me just say that there is lesbodrama and then there is hate, and these are two different things. let me also make very clear that while i have no love for separtist 2nd wave lesbian feminists, i in no way support lesbian bashing or feminist bashing--there are plenty of other trannyboys who have that covered and i will leave that to them, may they be punished with bad sex for years to come. but i spent enough time getting bashed on by separatist 2nd wave lesbofeminists at Anxious Twat (my alma mater) for me to merit not wanting to talk with or to them, may they be punished with lesbian bed death for years to come if they insist on staying ideologially in the 70s and 80s and being overly influenced by sad heaps of philosophical diarrhea such as The Transsexual Empire.
but getting back to gayvox hate. so after trotting my cute but really fairly invisble asscheeks down the homo information superhighway it took me a minute to find the drama in the forum, which is largely divided up into "for women only" and "for men only", but also has "for bisexuals" and "for trannies" and other things two. to my mind, this reflects fairly well the extent to which homohood in paris is segregated. most soirées are segregated, but one of the few exceptions to this is the Very Very Naughty Girls night that to the chagrin of many Janice Raymond fans and Michigan Womyn Fest lovers, allows both real and simulated dick to pass the doors (which surely signifies penetration). so it didn't take me long to find the hundred-or-so messages talking about the burlie gurlie drag show. and let me say, i was whizzed back years to a memory of me sitting on the grass at the Twat listening to a second waver ream me out for being not genderqueer, just a traitor, dick lover, and a confused anti-feminist girl. just as that second-waver so concisely hit upon the true nature of my social existence, so has gayvox revealed to me lessa's true nature: she is, among other things, a "cheap bisexual prostitute addicted to ass and dollaz" with no political agenda who was just hired to titillate the "invading penises". jesus christ, i think it is sad -- on a personal as well as intellectual level -- that queers and feminists still need to spend time refuting this kind of bullshit. first of all, drag and burlesque, if it is done well, usually attempts to be politically engaged. second of all, bisexuals and queers are indeed a threat to sexually hegemonic systems, and i don't think that's a bad thing. i do think it's a bad thing when homers with membership in conservative groups like the HRC show demand that straighters let them into their club "because they're just like them" and then turn around and shit on bisexuals and queers because they won't behave like straight people. thirdly, there's nothing wrong with establishing safe space for certain groups, but when all (or almomst all) space is cordoned off according to a hegemonic group system with no appreciation for the fact that some people who are marginalized in some ways can also have privilege in others, that is called fanatical hate.

so before i sign off, i have two nota benes:
(1) i think that hegemony is a yucky grad school word so here is a link to its definition but if you don't want to follow the link it just means "domination".
(2) i have been instructed by lessa that i am to say that she is my sexiest friend in all of paris.

love and diddles.

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