pony locked up in austerlitz!

okay, okay. i was indeed locked up in austerlitz, but it wasn't *that* austerlitz. it was the Gare d'Austerlitz metro station, and a tip for all of you visiting paris: avoid metro stations with "gare" in the title. so anyways, i will explain in one hot minute how VilePinHead got me locked up in austerlitz, but before that i must say that shit is going down fo'reals fo'reals in france. yesterday was the big protest day against the CPE, and about 3 million people were protesting. check it:

do also note the commie reds.
and in the last blog i talked about the skirry CRS riot cops in their body armour, looking like they're up for some hard core rollerblading. this is what they look like, with a touch of nazi too i might add:

i also have to note that they are, on some level, seriously stylin', aside from all the skirry nazi-looking tendencies. there's been multiple unpleasant encounters between protesters and the CRS, and tons of insults thrown around against the CRS (band of pigs, chickens, etc), and people talk about beating down the pigs.
so here's the thing i want to weigh in on...when i was at the GOP protest in 2000 in philly, there was this insane police presence, like seas of blue everywhere. and it's always the same thing, it's The Righteous Protesters versus The Cops. so after one long day of protest, my friend dylan and i were trying to find our way back to the tent city where we were staying in kensington, but we were a bit lost. we came upon 3 cops who were talking, and we looked at them like "are they going to beat us" all the while they were clearly looking at us and thinking either "are we going to have to beat them" or "are they going to shoot us?"
so we asked them how to get around, and we stayed awhile and started chatting with them. it was an amazing experience really, because we found out that the city was so freaked out by the amount of protests that they hired all these auxiliary cops from all over, and these guys we were talking with, they didn't have jobs, so even though they supported a lot of the protests, they were happy to get a job. and there's the thing; dylan and i were attached to the Empty the Shelters contingent and were working on poverty reform; and here these guys, The Enemy, The Cops--they were just trying to feed their families. that really made me think a lot about that juvenile "kill the pigs" kind of discourse that i threw around as a teenager, and that i hear so many folks throwing around now. so i was talking with a friend last night about this too, and he pointed out that when you think about it, there's a very fucked up class dynamic at protests, because a lot of protesters are "bobos" (bourgeois bohemians, or trustifarians) or upper/middle class, and they are hurling insults at the cops, who are most generally from lower class backgrounds. and that is not so good, i think. discuss.

okay, so back to pony trapped in austerlitz. yesterday was the big protest/general strike day. i have to say, the french know how to strike. they don't fuck around. there's even a high school where all the teachers and administration made their students go protest instead of going to class. this must have something to do with all the french revolutions (there's not just one...there was like 6. we'll talk about that some other time...)
so general strike. about 1/3 the usual metro trains, and pony, who is damn smart, decides to go hang out with folks on the north side of paris, which is pretty far away from where pony lives. um, its the distance between little 5 points and alphertater. or maybe coney island and washington heights. pony then, in its ongoing intelligence, hangs out there until midnight. surprise surprise, not a lot of trains at midnight when the trains people are on strike. i managed to get a train to about halfway home, stepped off the train in austerlitz, and that is the end of the train day. what's more, the austerlitz station is a pain in the anus, it is huge and changing trains there takes way too long. so at midnight:30 they decided to lock up all the exits, which leaves pony wandering around for a long time looking for a way out. i totally support the train people for going on strike, so i'm blaming vile pinhead instead for me getting trapped in austerlitz. i did finally get out and got to walk home.

so finally, my parents get here tomorrow. this is the neighborhood that their hotel is in:

that should be interesting. paris is definitely the city of lights.

whose streets?

so all of france is pissed off. not against me though--in fact they've offered me a bit of a present: an impromptu school vacation. i got up this morning to go teach, and when i turned the corner onto the street where the school is, i saw hundreds of students outside. at 9am, this was a bit out of protocol. then a bunch of my kids ran up to me to tell me that the students had taken over the school and barricaded it, so no classes for the rest of the day. you gotta love the french strike ethic; its like the american work ethic turned on its head. and instead of overworking, french students over-strike. but hey, only one of those gets me out of going to the jail.
so professional as always, when they told me this i have to admit that my immediate reaction was to do the fist-pulldown accompanied by saying "oh fuck yes". this kind of thing is why the students like me, but also why they are pretty misbehaved in my classes. having a mohawk and teaching things like the grammatical joys of the word 'fuck' (there is no equivalent in french, plus fuck can be almost any part of speech, so i think it's totally valid) and how to do the cock-rawk-lock do not seem to imbue me with the ability to make them behave in class.
but since the school makes it impossible for me to teach well, what the fuck (noun) do they expect?

by the way, the reason why the french are pissed off is not sarkozy (see picture below) (he was the one who was responsible for the recent riots, calling young men of color "voyous" [hooligans] and racailles [hoods], then saying he would bleach them [kacherise = a verb derived from a heavy-duty cleaning product] out of france.

text says: when i hear the word "ghetto", i go ahead and pull out my anti-riot gun

this time the hater is villepin (the prime minister). a quick key-player update: sarko is the racist and villepin is the sleazy capitalist. i propose calling him "vile pinhead". so anyway he has decided to push through a bill called the CPE (contrat de première embauche = first job contract) which means that companies can hire young people (under 26) without offering them a contract, and fire them at any time without giving notice or a reason. to americans, this doesn't sound so bad since most states have at-will employment, plus we americans, we work too much (the french work week is capped at 35 hours with at least 6 weeks of vacation a year). but i can understand why someone who goes and gets degrees and training and all this then tries to get a job with no security would be pissed. france is moving away from socialistic policy to sleazy capitalism. thanks, vile pinhead, for trying to push through a bill that 68% of france opposes strongly. don't you love elected representatives that represent their constituents like that? at least it means he won't get re-elected.

text says: Dominque de (Villepin), Laid-back. Diplomat. Superhero.

good news & bad news.

good news: in france, there is the PaCS (pacte civil de solidarité), which is the equivalent of a civil union. according to statistics, more people are pacsing than marrying (heteros too), and only 1 in 10 partnerships are dissolved. yesterday a french divorce court ruled that two lesbians with a baby (had by insemination, and carried by one of the mamans) who were un-pacsing themselves must share custody of their child.
go french divorce court!

bad news: in south dakota--which is the hardest state to get an abortion--is passing laws like crazy to challenge a woman's right to access abortion services. they are hoping that it goes to the new (and dis-improved) supreme court. quote: "In 2005, the South Dakota legislature passed five laws restricting abortion, after a bill to ban abortion outright had failed by one vote in 2004. And new laws are virtually assured for the coming year."
oh sandra day, why did you abandon us?

hoist the balls & prep the poop chutes!

once upon a time two young divas decided to take a fun trip to the sewers of paris. they thought it would be an interesting afternoon, learning the history of the the sewer system, and going underground in paris looking at old walls and tunnels and things. because how often do you get to go see old sewers? as they were walking down the stairs, one of them, whom we shall call monymoy, said: "hey you don't think it will smell bad down here, do you?" to which the other, whom we shall call shargaux replied, "i dont know, maybe..." so monymoy said, "naah, they wouldn't let folks come down into a sewer museum if it smelled bad, i mean, its a museum."

so the two young divas, dressed fabulously and smelling schweet, continued down the stairs. when they reached the bottom, they were relieved; they found themselves indeed in an old tunnel, and it smelled perfectly harmless. they came upon displays of manikins dressed like sewer workers:

the two (insightful and perceptive) divas noted that these manikins looked suspiciously homoschual, if you know what i mean. they decided that the strapping young man penetrating into the dark pipe must be inviting his friend that he met in the alley into his manhole. and all the other jauntily outfitted manikins throughout the tunnel all seemed to be engaged in similar manhole activities.

so shargaux and monymoy continued on, giggling a little bit all the way into the next tunnel, going deeper into the sewery history of paris. when they reached the third passage, both shargaux and monymoy quickly brought their (fabulous and classy) scarves over their (lovely) noses (with excellent bone structure). "oh sweet jesus" exclaimed the divas "what a horrid smell". and so it was that in the third tunnel, their (well-coiffed) hair frizzed a bit at the offensive and distinctly sewery smell. soon they came upon grated walkways overlooking an underground river:

mysterious machines hung over the river doing only god knows what. as monymoy was inspecting the machinery, suddenly (the stunningly lovely) shargaux exclaimed "oh my god there is poop in the river". monymoy (in his logical brilliance) began to assert "oh no way, they wouldnt let people into a museum if there was actually raw sewage floating around"....until he noticed a familiar shape, floating down the river. "are those condoms?"

as usual, monymoy was right. those were indeed condoms. and shargaux was also correct (as is the wont of classy and intelligent ladies), amid the condom were distinct turd-shaped boats, floating happily down shit river.

the divas, after staring incredulously at the digestive and sexual output of paris, decided to flee into the next tunnel. so they crossed the grated walkway overhanging the poo-ssippi, praying to all available deities that that walkway was very well installed. when they reached the next tunnel, their (marvellously tasteful) scarves still plastered over their noses and mouths, they to their anti-delight saw that the grated walkway continued. this tunnel featured information on the history of the sewers and the process of filtering used. both divas, being studious doctoral students as well as pretty, wished that they could read these panels and displays, but their stomachs were starting to feel a little queasy from the less than friendly smell of flowing parisian ass juice. startlingly, the two divas remarked that of all the other visitors to the lovely sewer museum, they were the only ones covering their noses. "what the fuck is wrong with these people?" exclaimed monymoy. "i have no idea but i think we should hustle our darling buns out of here" replied shargaux. and so they did.

in the next tunnel the offensive smell of chemically-treated anus lightened the slightest bit. "whew" sighed the two divas "thank god". in this tunnel they were able to admire the available information on the filtering process, which involved very large balls being inserted into the poop pipes. there was an abundant amount of displays showing different balls, and strapping sweaty men in uniforms laboriously inserting their large balls into their holes in the pipes. "hmm" uttered the two divas "they certainly decide on a thematic and develop it thoroughly". the big balls were indeed impressive:

they moved more slowly through this tunnel, admiring the strapping sweaty menses' handling of their big balls. when they came to the next tunnel, their (elegant) scarves covered once again their (still elegant although repeatedly offended) noses. and finally, at the end, they espied a kind of poopish tributary to the great poo-river:

luckily for you, dear readers, this picture does not depict well the post-filtering sludge treats that inspired our two lovely heroes to wretch, squeal and run like little girls towards the exit. because they are classy ladies, they did not recount to me the details of that sludge. and so they ran to the gift shop at the exit, gleefully playing with the pens that--like the pens sold in truck shops across the great america depict a lady or a man's clothes coming off when you tip them down-- the pens that showed a man dropping his ball into a hole. "my my" pronounced the divas "they do keep so lovingly to their theme".

and so the divas fled, feeling a bit abashed at their lack of foresight. many have since mocked the poor divas, but they, having witnessed the filtering process of city water, do now possess a knowledge that allows them to laugh in reply as others drink their tap water.

crrrash.

~~~r.i.p. coretta scott king.~~

so i was reading the international french newspaper Le Monde this morning (its kind of like the french new york times), and of course there's a shit-ton (credit goes to max for introduction of the expression "shit-ton" into my vocabulary) of articles about the mohamed drawings that got published in the danish newspaper. the debate over these drawings here, like anywhere else at the moment, is intense. on one hand, its a question of the liberty of the press--on the other, the seeming racism of the pictures and their effect.

the way that americans and the french think race is very different. the difference is very noticeable; i was talking with margaux, an american friend of mine here a couple of weeks ago, who said that she had french friends who seemed really fabulous and nice and radical-slash-liberal, and who she got along well with, and then all of a sudden, wham, they would make comments that sounded outrageously racist, leaving her wondering how the fuck she didn't see that before. of course, that kind of situation happens all the time among white radical-slash-liberals in the states too. in seattle i saw that trend way more than in atlanta, where race relations are in the very (polluted) air that everyone breathes. say what you will about the white flighters living on the northside of atlanta, but even they, geographically far removed from the majority of people of color living in atlanta, are often aware of race. in seattle, which is way more super-whitey-ville (although there are tons of folks of asian descent, but i would say that folks of asian descent are treated somewhat differently by racist social structures, who tend to view them as a 'model minority') than the atl, i heard more comments that made me cringe than in the south, where even bougie ass white-flighters are ashamed to say a lot of racist things out loud. and i think being ashamed of saying racist things is a damn good kind of shame.
but back to french vs. american race.
so when margaux related this to me, i knew exactly what she was talking about. after living with thomas a few months i heard him bust out with somethings that i couldnt believe, they sounded racist, and i was out of my head with how the hell i had managed to start living with someone who was racist without seeing it beforehand. it took a lot of working through what race means, but i was able then to pinpoint these differences:

1. what do you think of first? first of all, i think that the main social difference that americans think is race. this is because in the states there is a far more violent history of what slavery, the civil war, segregation, and the civil rightts movement means, and these things just did not happen or did not have as much of an impact on french society. the french think class before they think race. this is because communism has had a huge impact on french society (in may 1968 france was very close to becoming a communist state). not so with the us.
2. what the word race denotes. in france, race is very closely linked to nationality and ethnicity, and even people's families. you can insult someone by saying "[maudit] sa race", which basically means "fuck that person's whole race"; but in french, that means their whole family, not their race. in the states race means before anything else, skin color. this is certainly because in the us there are plenty of people of color who have been in americans way longer than white folks; and also, the melting pot thing, while it is often a load of crap, has actually worked-- in europe you are often judged by your last name; people can unconciously compute where it comes from very quickly (again the importance of family in the notion of race). in france, if you are have a different skin color, its not unlikely that you come from any number of countries which are closer to france than texas is to maine. hence nationality.
3. politcially correctness. the french hate politcally correctness in the same way that they hate vegetarianism (kind of like sticking their thumbs in the ears and going "naaanaaanaaa those amerikkans are crazy it is not humanly possible that people can live like that")--(that said, anti-americanism in france is *not* the rule and even if the french bash the us they also consume tons of american-ish things, not the least of which is mcdonalds, or "mcdo", where, by the way, you can order beer and croissants). and they see that a lot of pc talk is tied up by the way race is spoken about in the us. also there's a lot of talk now about the influence of this on american-style 'ghettos' based on race that are now being seen more and more in france.
4. "color blindness". first of all, let me say that color blindness, idealistic as it may be, is a load of horse shit. kind of like polyamory, it is a nice idea that generally results in one party (and more often than not the party that just so happens to be the marginalized party) getting hurt. it just doesnt practice very well. the france however, is all about this supposed 'colorblindness'. affirmative action (la discrimination positive) doesn't exist here, because identity claims are not so de rigeur in france; this seems yucky on the one hand, but on the other, a socialistic state requires a strong amount of communal identity (as opposed to individualist identity) in order to function. of course the former pres. françois mitterand was socialistic. conservative assfaces jacques chirac, dominique de villepin, and nicolas sarkozy (president, prime minister, and secretary of state/minister of the interior, respectively) are certainly *not*, and are slowly but surely dismantling all remnants of socialistic policy in france. also part of why there are more 'ghettos' and individualist identity claims surfacing now. anyways, colorblindness is, i repeat, a load of horsey-horse shitola. if you are white, please don't cover up your racist ways of thinking and behaving by saying "i don't see color", then following that up with "i have brown friends!". just pick one pathetically bullshit line of logic and stick with it.
5. so what if race is different those folks are still assholios? so this is really the crux of it. how do you stay friends with someone if they say things that sound like they might have a symbolic hood made from a bedsheet in their closet? from the best that i can figure, this is where cultural difference really fucks with radical-slash-liberal folks (i.e., is it culturally appropriate to say that genital mutilation is flat wrong?)(on that side of things, i would say, yeah, its seriously fucked up to mutilate someone's sex life and identity--even though i dont think gender should be genitally based-- without their consent). but who i am to say that the american conception of race is more accurate-slash-better?

while france is in no way the third world (even though y'all, showersand towels and fridges here are teeny weentsy more often than not--see pictures below-- example a normal sized american towel costs about 25 euros {~$30} at monoprix, the french target), it is important to realize that that when it comes to being the biggest and baddest and invadingest and most culturally-imposing imperialist country on the planet, it is without question the us that wins the prize. so i accept that what sounds to me fucked up is based on strong culturally-specific notions of race, and that people can be good people and say things that come from very different strong culturally-specific notions of race, and which are not racist by that reckoning. discuss.

a typical french shower:

i have no idea who this guy is but this is a typical french towel size:

and the fridge: